Why Marriage Matters

Why Marriage Matters

Marriage matters for at least three reasons. First, marriage is wholly within God’s jurisdiction. Second, it is the foundation of society. Third, it pictures Christ and His Church (Bride).

God’s Jurisdiction

Marriage is not an invention of mankind, therefore it cannot be lawfully changed by us. Rather, it was created, defined, and established by God for His purposes. Thus, it is entirely within His jurisdiction. That is, He alone has the authority to say what marriage is.

Consider this introductory statement on marriage found in Genesis 2:18; 20-24: 

And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (New King James Version)

In these verses, we see that God is the Creator of this sacred union. He defines it as a man (male) and his wife (female). The stated purpose is that Adam needed a helper suitable for himself to accomplish God’s directives of being fruitful (having children), multiplying and filling the earth, and subduing it. And He blessed their union.

The Foundation of Society

Marriage, and subsequently the family, is the foundation of a society. When it is undermined, society begins to unravel and weaken under moral depravity. The two primary ways that marriage is undermined are through diluting its principle and perverting its picture.

Diluting Its Principle

The unchangeable marriage principle is one man and one woman in a faithful, monogamous covenant for life. Yet history reveals that people have tampered with it since the Fall of man. Polygamy and no-fault divorce have chiefly been the worst offenders. However, in recent decades, another villain has appeared on the scene: “shacking up” (living together without being married). Though unable to destroy marriage, these, nonetheless have a diluting effect on society. 

Perverting the Picture

Perverting the picture of marriage is undoubtedly the most egregious of them all because it not only dilutes the principle, but it is a death relationship. This perversion is so-called same-sex marriage. As we reflect back on true marriage, there we notice the distinctives of two (a man and a woman), becoming one (a spiritual union with a physical presentation), and bearing fruit (having children). None of which are possible in a same-sex relationship. And paramount to this is the picture which true marriage represents (this will be discussed later). This begs the question: what was the vehicle that took us from polygamy, to no-fault divorce, to shacking-up, to same-sex marriage? The answer, in part, is the civil government.

The Government’s Responsibility

The civil government has the responsibility by law of recognizing and honoring God-ordained marriage. However, with the enactment of no-fault divorce laws throughout the United States, the civil authorities have assisted in eroding the dignity and weightiness of marriage in the minds of the citizenry. Simultaneously, our unfaithfulness to contracts and covenants have been highlighted. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 19:8, that we seek a divorce because of the hardness of our hearts. (This does not include legitimate reasons such as adultery, abandonment, felonies, and the like.)

Court Cases

The federal government, specifically the Supreme Court, has compounded transgressions by some of its rulings. Consider the 2015, Obergefell v. Hodges. I will note only a few snippets from its Justia Summary. The entire case can be read on line at http://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/576/644/. It reads in part:

The Fourteenth Amendment requires a state to license a marriage between two people of the same sex…The fundamental liberties protected by the Fourteenth Amendment extend to certain personal choices central to individual dignity and autonomy, including intimate choices defining personal identity and beliefs. Marriage is a centerpiece of social order and fundamental under the Constitution; it draws meaning from related rights of childrearing, procreation, and education. The marriage laws at issue harm and humiliate the children of same-sex couples; burden the liberty of same-sex couples; and abridge central precepts of equality.

Note that this a dishonest use of the Fourteenth Amendment, a twisting of terms, and a disregarding of its intent by the Founders. However, it is first and foremost a transgression into God’s jurisdiction. 

Another court case that I will refer to is Grigsby v. Reib. It was case concerning civil unions and common law marriage. I point to this case because of the stark difference between the decision of Chief Justice Jeffrey Brown of the Texas Supreme Court in 1913, and the aforementioned Obergefell v. Hodges decision. The case and opinion can be found here: https://www.courtlistener.com/opinion/4202049/grigsby-v-reib/. A selection from this opinion reads in part:

Marriage was not originated by human law. When God created Eve, she was a wife to Adam; they then and there occupied the status of husband to wife and wife to husband. When God created the first pair, He gave the command: “Multiply and replenish (people) the earth,”...The truth is that civil government has grown out of marriage; marriage by cohabitation, not by contract, which created homes, and population, and society, from which government becomes necessary…Such life [Common Law marriage] is in defiance of the commands of God, and in disregard of every obligation to society and the State…

The difference here is that the Chief Justice did not impose his own views in this case but sought to honor God who created marriage. This opinion should be a “rubber stamp” to any future cases that would undermine true marriage.   

Christ and His Church (Bride)

As servants of Christ, the Church and her individual members are required to be faithful stewards of God’s Word. In the case of true marriage, it is to be preached, proclaimed, protected, and presented boldly.

Preach

At most churches, including mine, marriage is rightly and regularly celebrated from the pulpit. Likewise, there are married couples Sunday School classes, couples’ ministries, and messages preached on marriage. Additionally, for a man and a woman desiring to be married, pre-marital counseling is readily available, and there is also counseling for those who are already married. The church provides a “greenhouse” for nurturing, healing, and strengthening marriages.

Proclaim

The Church’s responsibility is, as the Rev. Charles Finney declared, “[to] take the right ground in regard to politics.” (Politics rightly understood as addressed in my book). For example, when such cases as “No Fault” divorce and Obergefel v. Hodges appear before the pubic eye, the Church should proclaim the truth on marriage on steps of the Court and in the public square generally. She should “hold forth the word of life” presenting the gospel in any situation. John the Baptist would have proclaimed (as he did) the unlawfulness of any “arrangement” other than what Scripture says.

Protect

Marriage is to be protected, especially our own. We are to examine ourselves and remove the marriage planks from our own eyes so that we can see clearly to help another couple. The percentage of divorce that takes place among professing Christians should be considered. No doubt some of those are in the “no fault” divorce category. Marriage is tough work at times, but it is worth it. And if it is to be honored and protected in this world, Christians will be the ones leading this endeavor. 

Picture

Finally, marriage is imbued with salvific implications, and it is especially for this reason that the Church should not be silent. For what is pictured by marriage should help every honest person to understand that only “What God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matt. 19.6a). 

As we understand what marriage represents, it gives hope to all people. Singularly, marriage pictures (though imperfectly by us) Christ and His Church (Bride). Recall the scriptures from Genesis 2:18; 20-24, and think of them in light of Ephesians 5:25-32.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

The Matthew Henry Commentary yields great insight concerning the Genesis and Ephesians passages. I will note only a small section of it. He records, “In this (as in many other things) Adam was a figure of him that was to come; for out of the side of Christ, the second Adam, His spouse the Church was formed, when He slept the sleep, the deep sleep of death upon the cross, in order to which His side was opened, and there came out blood and water, blood to purchase His church and water to purify it to Himself.”  https://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/matthew-henry-complete/genesis/2.html

Conclusion

Thus, marriage is wholly within God’s jurisdiction, it is the foundation of society, and it pictures Christ and His church. But not everyone on earth will be married nor should everyone marry. Therefore, marriage also points to something greater that is in the heart of every person: our need and longing for the comfort and security of permanent belonging. This longing can only be fulfilled by Jesus Christ. In this life, a person either belongs to Christ, or he or she belongs to the devil. Those belonging to Christ look forward to an eternity with Him in a new Heaven and new Earth wherein dwells righteousness…and joy, and peace, and love. Those belonging to Satan have a horrible expectation of eternity in the lake of fire. To whom do you belong?

If you don’t belong to Christ, He is ready to bring you into a saving relationship with Himself. Confess or admit that you are a sinner and have broken His laws. Believe that He paid the price for your sins by dying on the cross, taking the wrath of God for you because He loves you. Now, turn from your sins to Him and put your full trust in Him as Lord and Savior. He will save you from your sins, and your intrinsic desire for belonging will be satisfied. You will belong to the One who loves you perfectly; who will never leave nor forsake you…the One who will love you for all eternity.